“The ‘true love waits’ saying is a bunch of crap,” said one female student, after listening to author Lauren Winner discuss her book, Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity, at Vienna Presbyterian Church in September. “We are a feelings-oriented culture, and waiting doesn’t feel good.”
A survey done at Michigan State University indicates that 60% of students said they have had a sexual encounter in a “friends with benefits” relationship. While guys used to need to call a girl by Wednesday for a weekend date, many now simply send a text message at 1am to a potential hook up and get what they want, according to Laura Sessions Stepp, author of Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both. Some women consider the trysts empowering, but many more have regrets. Women tend to show more signs of depression after casual sex relationships than men (Wall Street Journal, November 1, 2007).
CCO staff member Kayla Gray, who works with students at George Mason University, facilitated a post-lecture discussion over cookies and ice cream. Lauren Winner had talked about the seemingly “old-fashioned” concept of chastity and how the church addresses—or doesn’t address—issues around sexuality. She communicated a biblical perspective on sexuality and challenged the more than 40 students in attendance to have a long-term perspective about sexual behavior.
About 18 students hung out afterward at Kayla’s apartment, until 1am. They spent hours hashing through topics as diverse as “lies the church tells about sex” to “how to talk about chastity with peers.” Kayla hopes these conversations continue, that students would develop a healthy and God-honoring attitude about their sexuality.